163 Comments
Jun 29, 2023·edited Jun 29, 2023

Oh good! We lost our midfield and forwards so we signed ONE defender NTRP? ----> Kayla Morrison from the Melbourne Victory (in the A-league) Anyone know the name?

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founding

Wow was that a terrible game or what? Both teams were bad, and the officiating wasn't good either. My takes:

1. Norris' tactical nous is Parlow-Cone-esque. He sent out a bunch of scrubs and told them to break the press like they were good soccer players. Set them up to fail and made no adjustments to try to change that.

2. Not once, not one single time, did we play a long ball over the top despite OLR sitting with a high line and us with a couple rabbits. So there was no threat and they could press with all ten in our half.

3. We have two tall players with good heading skills. So you send crosses into the box, right? We attempted it twice and actually delivered it only once.

4. Our GM is a cheerleader, not a GM. We have literally known the date team would be short-handed since Christmas, yet the day arrives and we have nothing. This is inexcusable - if we had owners I think the GM search would be underway.

5. Hannah Betfort has been here for three years and her skills have not improved in any noticeable way. It's time to move on. or maybe convert to CB for one last shot?

6. Our "strikers" (Betfort, Vascancelos) won't shoot. WTF?

7. One more not-win, or OLR win, and we will be officially eliminated from the Cup. Can't happen soon enough, so we can stop pretending.

Aside from the above, it was a lovely everning, there was a good sized crowd, there were a few moments of suspense or interest. Five seconds of quality can offset 90 minutes of frustration. That must be how the Reign fans felt -- wish it had been us.

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Challenge Cup Match Day June 28, 2023: "You Watched It. You Can't Unwatch It."

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I could care less about the Cup.

The worrying thing about last night is that this plus Weaver is the group we’ve got for the league until August, and other that one nice buildup all I saw was Moultrie bombing from distance. This group had NOthing going forward. We better hope that adding Weaver to this mess will smarten it up, but my guess is not enough.

In 2015 it was obvious that Paul Riley (spit!) had no plan ready to deal with the absence of his international stars, and, indeed, that is the only season to date this club has finished below the red line.

Mark Parsons had Midge Purce and Simone Charley ready to go when the World Cup raptured the internationals four years later, so…

The mobhanded mess last night looked more 2015 than 2019.

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Jun 29, 2023·edited Jun 29, 2023

Watching some of the post match video, and apparently Norris told Reyes he was gonna throw her into F before the game. She was fine I guess (?), but like, wtf are we doing here lol.

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Jun 29, 2023·edited Jun 29, 2023

At least we have this y’all: “Sam Coffey on wearing the captain’s armband for the first time tonight: ‘It’s such an honor. When Mike told me, I had to make sure he had the right person. … I love this club.’ #BAONPDX “

Captain Coffey for team Portland? Nothing else would make more sense, honestly. What a joy of a player and a person, to boot.

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Jun 29, 2023·edited Jun 29, 2023

To cough up that hairball and realize our league lineup won’t be much different than that…woof. It’s also incredibly frustrating that the FO incompetence meant that instead of NTRP’s stinking up this game so Porter, Coffey, and Moultrie could get some damn rest, we had them going almost full games just to put almost the same lineup on the field against a fresh KC who have only lost Debinha. This is the game we needed them for…unless one of those NTRP’s are named Mia Fishel or some other competent pro-level forward. What a shitshow that was lol. Norris doesn’t have an uber talented roster to hide behind right now and boy does it show…Weaver, really gonna have to do it all. I get that maybe we can only raise the ceiling so much, but gaddamn that floor has got to come up from multiple players. I thought Liv was decent, but really not as dominant as we’re gonna need from her. Sam- good as usual. Reyes- had a pretty decent game as well. Everyone else was just….

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Hear me out:

Kuikka, Hubly, Menges, Kling in back. Hubly is told never to look for a pass, just boot it upfield. (Maybe even switch Kuikka and Menges and then let Kuikka push forward a bit.)

Reyes, Coffey, Moultrie, Vasconcelos in mid.

Weaver and DAquila playing very aggressive strikers, trying to create turnovers in the attacking third.

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Jun 29, 2023·edited Jun 29, 2023

Yikes. That was dreadful.

There's some squad issues - why the hell was McGrady at right back and Kuikka at left back - and D'Aquila, I'm sorry, she's not a winger. But some players are patently not good enough and we're short in attack. Maybe they were more attacking in college but Reyna Reyes and Sam Coffey have defensive brains now and that's hard to get out of

OL Reign also sucked but they scored on a set piece and that was enough.

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Hope the Weaver thing is precautionary, cause while we may be able to get away with no Soph for a few games, we certainly can't get away with not having either.

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Okay, can we get away with playing an academy team in whatever Challenge Cup games remain (since there's no way we advance now)? Pick-up squad from a rec league?

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Well better CC than league to stink it up.

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Announcer still prattling about Thorns' offensive struggles. Comedy tier...

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Love to hear Norris explain this crap.

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Offense finally showed up in the 91st minute...

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Jun 29, 2023·edited Jun 29, 2023

Two hours of my life I'd love to have back (although I admit I've been doing more netsurfing that watching for a while now).

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Well, I hate to give stick to a 17-year-old, but Moultrie has to do better than this.

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Too early to write off D'aquila? Man 90 minutes of nothing. don't think she won a meaningful 1v1.

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I think we all knew that the dropoff from the starters was pretty huge...but this reeeeeally drive home HOW huge. I'm not sure this group could score if they played for 190 minutes, there's just nobody there outside Moultrie. The hopes I had for D'Aquila are fading fast, and Betfort we know.

There's just no real quality there, at least not tonight.

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D’Aquila has been really stunningly unimpressive tonight.

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Jun 29, 2023·edited Jun 29, 2023

Remember when we were all mad about not bringing in another winger besides Leon? Well....yeah. We have a left back playing RW rn.

Also why are Tegan and Kuikka playing on the wrong sides

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Now we're gonna hit the afterburners - McGrady and Provenzano!

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SD Champipple started someone named Jessica Shae Yáñez Couey in goal tonight.

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This is about to go 2-0 or 3-0. Balcer and Barnes in.

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There was something interesting. Hubs flapping cheeks to get forward.

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Announcer babbling about it being surprising the Thorns not scoring...oblivious to the heavy rotation, apparently. Sanderson immediately intervening to point out the missing scorers. Much lulz...

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.... and it looks like Norris just DID adopt Wilkinson's "Try a New Position" approach, subbing in Kuikka for Betfort.

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Those hellbent on Hogan for Bix, hit ctrl÷del.

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Clever play, brutal defending from Kling, and I have NO idea how Portland can pull one back out of this primordial soccer soup.

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Aw Kling: managed to hold Bennett onside AND not mark her at the same time.

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Jeezus, that kick was like a school recess line!

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Whow! Bennett's nails are like deadly weapons. Well, at least nine of them still are...

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Between the two teams they have three shots on frame in forty-odd minutes

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I like it, Moultrie! Go early and put your leg through it!

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I was just about to ask if we would get a single shot on target tonight. Thanks, Liv!

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Weinert- Reyes very entertaining.

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Holy Crap! ACFCNFT' is showing that their B team is superior to SD Champipple's B team.

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At least the other game has some goals to show for the bleh.

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Really not feeling like this was worth staying up for the 10:30 start time

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This is lol. Man, Betfort literally cannot hold a ball longer than an AYSO player. D’Aquila not much better? I’m taking great delight in Reyes’ battles with #51. She looks frustrated and Reyes is just loving it lol. Huge smile on her face every time #51 is on the ground.

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This is some seriously rec league shit. I've stopped watching and I'm just listening to the announcers while I fool around on the 'net.

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Coffey, Reyes, Moultrie best Thorns by a large margin.

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Rubbish offside call. Nally kept Bennett onside, IMO. Crap defending, but lovely work from OLR, the $#&^$!

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Only moment of excitement came off Betfort's lovely pass off the outside of her foot. Moultrie should have done better with the shot.

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We are just out here kicking the ball, no thoughts, just vibes

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I'm glad Chief is here at least. This game is exhausting to watch.

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Portland reeeeeally struggling - again - playing out of the press because everyone is standing around. Luckily OLR is still pretty random, too...

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Christ but Porter looks like a rec league player out there...

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Oh, Livvy! Gotta get that on frame - if for no other reason than to honor that pretty buildup..!

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Captain Coffey. You love to see it.

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